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You as Well, Can Be a TRAVELER The benefits of planning a vacation

Mon, 16 Mar 2026 15:09:12 GMT

There are many ways to travel. You can go by car, bus, train, ship, or plane. However, you

decide to travel try to decide and book in advance so you can enjoy the benefit of anticipating

your vacation. When you book ahead you have the luxury of paying on the trip and have it

completely paid off before you leave. As you start to pack and investigate the traffic and or

weather you begin to release good feeling hormones (serotonin and oxytocin) in your brain.

Your body begins to feel joy and the anticipation brings about a smile. I suggest you make a list

of the things you will need and want on this trip. Shop early so you do not exhaust yourself the

day before the trip. Don’t forget to add to the list your cords for your electronics.

When preparing for a trip you will notice that you have more good days than bad. Because of

your ability to step back and imagine your trip. Once you realize what the weather will be you

can pack the different items you will need and want.

If you are traveling by car, you can pack your meals to save money along the way. Also, you

know your food will not make you sick. Some people stop at rest stops along the major

highways and visit the different restaurants and possibly you can have an allergic reaction if you

have food allergies. Or the food may have been out too long, and the restaurant did not throw

it away at the appropriate time. Nothing like having the runs on a major trip. So, beware. If the

next rest stop is 30 minutes or more, you must hold until then. That is not a good feeling.

If you are using public transportation- bus, train, ship, or plane, to make sure you can bring your

own food. At that time, you can decide to pack snacks or lunch or dinner. Choose foods that do

not require refrigeration or heating. No worries because once you get to your destination you

can eat, at the local spots. Don’t forget to research your destination to have a plan of action to

where you will choose to go once there. Do you realize planning a vacation can be good for

your mental health.

If you are flying be prepared for delays or missed flights or even cancellations. Today things like

that does happen. So, whether it is a result of weather or overbooking be prepared so you can

shake it off and not develop a bad attitude to mess your dream trip or destroy the good

memories you just made. You decide if you will have success over the mishaps or not.

Also don’t put on social media your plans to travel away from your home. Because everyone is

not happy for you and then there are those who may do some undesirables once you are gone.

If you know your neighbor- let someone you trust know that you will be away just in case a

package is delivered, and your neighbor can hold at their house until you return. If you are gone

for more than three to four days, you should stop your mail delivery. You can do that online.

Our recent was a cruise. It’s been years since we were on a cruise, and it remains as we

remember it. The were some people who wore mask and some that didn’t. Everyone did their

own thing, and no one commented on whether you had a mask or not. It was your choice. The

Norwegian Cruise Line had over 4,200 cruisers. We stopped at Stirrup Cay, Bahamas, St.

Thomas, Dominic Republic, and other ports. The weather was awesome. Especially since we

know it was snowing back home in Ohio. Yes, we seen 80–85-degree weather. The sun visited

with us daily. It’s a dream come t true just to sit relax in a lounge chair as you eat and drink all

you want. The scenery was wonderful, from every area on the ship. We did see some old

friends and met new friends while away.

The water was beautiful, and the ship had everything you could dream of, from food,

entertainment, and top service. I could not have planned anything better. The memories made

on this trip will help me get through the cold months in Ohio. These memories can give you

hope and preserve your sanity from this uncertain world. Together with our memories and our

faith in God we see a bright, hopeful, and joyful future. Yes, we are planning our next cruise and

we invite all who dare to dream come with us. This would give you something to look forward

to.

The most import thing about planning your vacation is the anticipation of the trip and

afterwards holding on to the memories. They are yours and no one can take those memories

from you. Your mental health, physical health and spiritual health thank you. May you dream

and plan your next vacation soon.

To Know Yourself is to Love Yourself

Mon, 16 Mar 2026 15:08:50 GMT

Knowing yourself involves you being honest with yourself. Knowing the things that make you

happy, or sad, what makes you cry, and what makes you depressed and/or anxious. It’s valuing

yourself and what you bring into any relationship. It’s discovering why you do what you do and

how you decide what direction you are taking your life in. It helps you to make decisions on

how you want to spend the rest of your life. Do you want to marry or live alone. Do you want

kids or travel the world. Only you could make these decisions alone and not having others

interfere with what you truly want out of life. Knowing yourself is being aware of your flaws

and your insecurities and your weaknesses and having abilities to improve in the area of where

you are lacking.

What is love?

Love is the highest feeling you can have toward yourself and for others. Love can be used as

noun, and a verb. Love is showing compassion. According to Webster’s dictionary love is a

strong feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection; self-giving concern for the well-

being of others; strong enthusiasm or liking. We’ve noticed that some people will treat others

better than how they treat themselves.

Loving yourself is nurturing and being patient and kind with self. It’s not calling yourself

negative names. Taking care of your mind, body and soul by growing and learning new things

every day and keeping your body healthy by eating properly and exercising and well as looking

into your soul be aware of your emotions and what centers you

How do you know you don’t love yourself

When you don’t love yourself, you don’t value who God made you to be. You allow others to

tell you what you like and don’t like. You have no dreams or aspirations. You have lack of

confidence and low self-esteem. Always look at comparing yourself with others, finding it

difficult to overlook mistakes and move passed them. Putting yourself last in self-care, not

being good with relationships of any types, hiding your true self from others, mimicking others-

because you don’t want to look at yourself. You don’t like anything about yourself. Research

showed that girls are more vulnerable to comparing themselves to others and reject how they

see themselves. This can cause young girls to spiral into depression and low self-esteem.

How to love yourself

Begin with positive self-talk, self-awareness (be aware of the words you use about self), create

a list of things that affirm you and begin to check them off. Don’t allow yourself to occasionally

practice but, do them often. Think about things that make you smile, laugh and that gives you

joy and do them often. Surround yourself with people who continue to reaffirm you and

encourage you to venture out. Build a positive community for self. Treat yourself nice. Meditate

on good things and take times to busy schedule to do regular deep breathing techniques when

you are feeling stressed. Start to read new and interested books that will better yourself. Don’t

be afraid to ask for help. Know when to stop and or slow down. Look in the mirror and be

aware of the positive things you say to self. Often revisit a list of things you are grateful and

thankful for. Recognize your ANTS (automatic negative thoughts) and reject those thoughts. Let

go of toxic people and things in your life that hold you back and think bad of yourself. Know,

yourself better than others. No one can say negative things and you believe them.

As aways, if there are feelings and emotions that you need help with call 211 to get assistance

with where you can get some help from a license therapist. If you are having thoughts of suicide

call 988.

Black Mental Health Symposium

Mon, 16 Mar 2026 15:08:17 GMT

April is Minority Health Month - and as clinicians who both specialize in marriage counseling,

we often have occasion to refer clients for individual therapy. Couple’s work is predicated on

both partner’s doing their work for and with each other. However, there are instances where

individual work needs to be done. We often say two things. One, anything buried alive, stays

alive. We often see in others, and in ourselves, the tendency the ignore, brush over and just

move on from painful issues of our past. Moving on is important - however, without

adequately dealing with - or processing the pain - it tends to show up in the most unexpected

times and places with very unpredictable results.

The other maxim we use is, “If you can name it, you can tame it “referring to the

unspoken trauma and buried emotions so often invisibly haunting our relationships. Once

addressed, it makes life clearer, relationships richer and our previously unexpressed emotions

understood.

For Black people there are many unspoken, unexpressed ghosts haunting us. For all the

homespun remedies of stuffing, ignoring and “just get over it” advice, there are some things

that just need to be dealt with for us to thrive better.

On April 27,2023, we are hosting a Black Mental Health Symposium. We’re opening a

dialogue with a panel of Black therapists to discuss the hidden wounds often ignored. For all

our attempts to “just move on” without dealing the racial insults and assaults we face, there

are some things we must do to flourish.

Black America is not deaf to the calls to ban books about our history, nor are we

immune to the calls to erase, ignore and punish those who discuss diversity. Indeed, with each

successive report of attempts to shred our humanity, another tear pierces the soul of our

existence and diminishes our sense of self. We will rally together to heal ourselves,

notwithstanding attempts to devalue us.

We have assembled an impressive array of some of the valley’s best and brightest in the

field of Black Mental health and invite the public hear the dialogue about the power and

promise of engaging as well as the pitfalls of ignoring your mental health.

Psychiatrist, Dr. Steven King, Psychologist, Dr. Kellie Kirksie, LPPCC, Gloris Griffin, CSB,

LPCC, DEI Director, Nancy McCain and Dr, Sherri Harper Woods, distinguished professor, and

LISW-S will round out the initial panel to openly discuss racial trauma facing Black Americans as

well as provide insight and treatment direction and suggestions. Dr. Linda McNair, Ed.D, MSSA,

and Dr. M. Mike McNair will serve as co-moderators and guide the discussion.

This will be the first in a series of discussions. Stay tuned. Location: Youngstown Event

Center 5-7:30 pm

Love is as Love Does. Always.

Mon, 16 Mar 2026 15:07:55 GMT

As we often fall short of loves definitions, we are never shy on making attempts

to explain or describe love. As Pastoral Counselors, deeply connected to

spirituality and biblical texts we lean heavily on the well-used and accurate

description found in Paul’s letter to the church at Corinth. Commonly referenced

as the love chapter has a list of what love does. Not what it simply does, not

what it may or may not do, but rather and emphatically states, what love always

does. Believes all things. Hopes all things. Endures all Things.

We talk about it often and the rub -if you will -is ALWAYS. Ever in the search for

an excuse people cite the list as an ideal that no one can reach. It’s seen as a

lofty perch too high for mere mortals to attain. And yet, if we believe- what we say

we believe and we all believe in love, right?? The attainment, then, is not only

possible, but it is required.

It gives us confidence to declare what the Bible says- since so many Americans,

and a higher proportion of Black Americans than their White counterparts,

subscribe to a faith tradition. But our confidence is shattered in the face of so

many who ascribe to faith -in words and seem to reject its tenets in practice. It

seems like Paul’s admonition to the church at Rome- is accurate —-particularly

when dealing with faith leaders who parrot the scriptures but mirror the fallen

culture.

As clinicians we see clients who are confronted with the obvious tension of

saying one thing about loving their spouse, and yet display behaviors that are the

exact opposite.

“You blaspheme the name of God by your behavior,” according to Romans 2.28.

You don’t have to be a scholar to know that “blasphemy” is not a good thing. But

the weight of that accusation is particularly poignant considering it was leveled

against religious leaders.

Love is not confusing. It is always a demonstration of kindness and care. And

yet if we present a faulty image, we cause others to stumble under the weight of

the façade. For a less churchy definition, albeit just as appropriate from author

M. Scott Peck, love is the will to extend oneself for the purpose of nurturing one’s

own or another’s spiritual growth”.

Love self. Love others. Love God. Exchange the order. Reverse the priority –

they are interchangeable. Can’t have one, without the other and you can’t say

love unless you show love. Love is as love does. Always.

Happily, Ever After: Myth or Must

Mon, 16 Mar 2026 15:07:07 GMT

Many may look at Disney movies and believe there is a happily ever-after, but we are here to

tell you that is just a dream. Perhaps it is not only Disney - but the make-believe story lines

that begin with “Once upon a time” and end with “happily ever after”. The dominant imprint of

the phrase is at the end of the story leaving the impression that the road ahead is filled with

bliss when in fact it is simply the beginning.

You can have a happily ever after if you put in the work and you are intentional about your

relationship.

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know when you’ve done something wrong or used the

wrong tone or forgotten an important date. Let us be the first to say, “Don’t beat around the

bush, just own up to the mistake.” It is not very difficult to try to figure out why many grown

people have a difficult time saying: I’m sorry, or I was wrong, or I truly forgot, or please forgive

me.” It doesn’t mean you are less of a person, but it does remind your partner you are not

perfect, and God is still working on me and I’m here for the long haul, trying hard to learn ways

every day ways that we both can be happy.

But alas, pride goes before a fall and a haughty look before destruction. Be it pride, fear,

attachment injuries from childhood or just plain stubbornness, the bottom line is we’re working

against ourselves, our relationship with our spouse and we’re working against our human

nature.

Our nature, our calling, our very purpose is to give and receive love. The righteousness, peace

and joy described in scripture is literally shorthand for “happily ever after” - but it’s with the

work that make it happen.

We’ve been granted, gifted with everything we need for life and godliness (II Peter1:3)

and our best and highest aspirations are available to us (in our marriage and all relationships)

through the power that works within (Ephesians 3:21). Those promises are not only for those

who tithe, attend bible study weekly, fast and pray often and are outwardly pious. Those

promises are for everyone who believes.

Think of it this way. This is your story. You have the power, ability and calling to make the

ending a ‘happily ever-after’, with the understanding that relationships, as essential as they are

for everyone (no man or woman is an island) and it takes constant work. And sometimes the

work may seem to be hard. But as we always say to couples - marriage is hard work - but it’s

worth the work.

So, if you choose to lean into pride and unforgiveness you set yourselves up for failure and the

fairytale ending is doomed before you get started. However, if you realize you are still growing

in God, and He is not finished with either of us yet. Plus, you already put 1-5 years into this

relationship (today maybe even 20-30 years) you might as well demonstrate to your children

and others that you are not quitters.

Now we are not talking about staying if there is any type of abuse going on (from sexual,

physical, mental, emotional, alcohol or drugs). If so, we strongly recommend seeking a safe

environment and getting the professional help from qualified licensed therapist.

Remember the story you are writing about is yours and you can choose to make it adventurous

and exciting, constantly working and learning to make your marriage better than it was the year

before. Marriage is a journey, and the journey is your story you tell it how you want people to

receive it. You decide what chapter this is for you. Is this the end? Is there a sequel?

The public health crisis of racism will not be solved by ignoring it

Mon, 16 Mar 2026 15:06:44 GMT

To be published in the May 2023 edition of the Buckeye Review

As part of the Black Mental Health Symposium weSymposium we must look at

relationships and marriage. What if Can a person is inbe in a mixed marriage and

ignore race?

We know of one such couple where the husband is Black, and the wife is white, and the

topic of race is never discussed. Ignoring problems or personal and emotional issues is

not the best way to have an intimate relationship.

In a loving relationship, the participants cannot ignore the elephant in the room. It

cannot be put on the back burner and allowed to simmer for years. Either the pan will

burn, or the house will burn down. We have seen it time and time again with one of the

members carry the emotional burden for the couple and the family – but it leaves a

hollowness and passes along a family dysfunction that become replicated by the

children.

It is not always the discussion of race, it can be anything – however, we are focusing on

race because very little has been said about dealing with racism – since it was declared

a public health crisis by the City of Youngstown in 2020, and by the state of Ohio Board

of Education in 2021. In his book, “The conspiracy of silence” Dr. Derald Wing Sue

proves that the white leadership and white majority – are not only uncomfortable

discussing race, but they also actually punish those who openly discuss it. This could

easily explain why Ohio at the state level went to great lengths to rescind the resolution

passed in 2021 and subsequently punished those board members who would not go

along with the plan. It could also explain why Black people typically keep quiet about

the trauma inflicted on them because of the daily insults and not-so-micro – aggressions

that occur.

Even now- as the state is quietly taking over education to continue with the

“whitewashing” of history – there is an ongoing and growing need to affirm for ourselves

– the value of our identity and the dignity of our humanity. This cannot be done with a

single event or conversation, as we are literally rowing upstream against the current that

wishes to revision history through a white only lens.

While we are talking about racism and its impact on Black people, there is a price to be

paid for the white majority – or the white individuals who choose to absorb the privilege

and ignore the price for it by others. They must override their common sense and sear

their consciences repeatedly to parrot the talking points of color-blindness and “we’re all

treated equally, under the law” regardless of race or simply joining in the conspiracy of

silence. Conspiracies are not good – no matter how long they continue.

Within the marriage and at the homes of couples, both Black and white, there must be a

level of honesty that upholds our trust and commitment to one another. This is the glue,

the foundation of a relationship. So too, within our households of faith, where John

8:32 is often quoted that “you shall know the truth and the truth shall set us free” we

must all come to the place of awareness of how deeply racism has damaged our nation

and our conscience. Once our awareness is piqued, we can do the work of buildingof

building and nurturing relationships both individually and, on a community-wide basis.

In our practice we often say marriage counseling is hard – or functional, nurturing

relationships are hard, becausehard because the work – is hard. But we also and

affirm constantly, it’s worth the work. The alternative to the hard work to make a

relationship work is to exit with all the attendant baggage left in the wake.

Black History is All Year Around

Mon, 16 Mar 2026 15:06:21 GMT

When Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King said he wanted to be remembered as a Drum Major for

justice, love and righteousness, he was echoing a prophetic edict from scripture. A new book

by Tim Alberta, “The kingdom, the power and the glory’, lays out the struggle that the American

church specifically and Americans more generally, have with reconciling who we are versus who

we assert ourselves to be.

His book joins many others that wrestle with the tension and explores the conflict. Importantly,

the popular narrative which asserts the false notions of greatness, compassion and equality -

have so taken hold of the America psychic that it is hard to know the truth as plain as it is.

Are we a racist nation? Of course we are. It’s easy to say and it’s easy to know. The facts are

clear, and the history is undeniable. So why is it so hard to swallow? Because it is distasteful.

It is repugnant. Anti-human and perennially violent.

We have so absorbed the softer, false notion of benevolence while citing pockets of progress

and policies that make us sound fair. But thanks to the hubris of the GOP book banning

brigade, America is discovering the history that made us who we are. With each edict to

ignore, we are compelled to ask why. With every declaration against “wokeness” we become

alert to the plan for the great American slumber.

Carter G. Woodson’s unearthing the dearth of real history began a search for the truth. But it

focused on adding the achievements of Black excellence to the greatness of our nation. A more

accurate telling discovers not just the successes despite the odds, but rather the unrelenting

efforts to remain inculcate injustice in our laws at every level.

The well quote verse from the gospel of John states, “and you shall know the truth and the

truth shall set you free.” The longer our history is buried in lies the time until our collective

freedom is extended.

So, this year, not simply this month, we should redouble our efforts as Americans,

ALL AMERICANS, to know the truth. Real love tells and lives the truth. As sour as it may taste,

there’s freedom in knowing who we are and how we came to be.

Setting Boundaries to Save Your Life

Mon, 16 Mar 2026 15:06:01 GMT

Happy New Year! It’s finally 2024. Be thankful because many did not make it. Rather than fall into the national pattern

of only nine percent of resolutions are achieved. Have just one resolution. And that one can be setting boundaries

for yourself. Have you ever agreed to do a favor for someone – and soon afterwards regretted the decision because

you didn’t want to disappoint the person? Helping someone move or drive them to a doctor’s appointment is a

laudable thing. Living is giving. However, if saying yes causes you tension and regret, then a boundary has been

breached.

Again, serving and pleasing is not a bad thing, until that same service displeases you. No doubt you have

encountered an unwelcoming usher at church. They were probably asked to do a job they didn’t really want to do –

and the performance suffered along with everyone else. Once you’re into the reluctant – boundary piercing activity –

you are mentally tormented, emotionally drained and physically debilitated – ever so slightly. Imagine the impact over

time.

Because we have seen people mistreated, violated and even dismissed by those close to them, it is easy to

understand that as important as they are, boundaries are always clear. However, they are clearly breached. And

every time it happens, an emotional wound is driven deeper into one’s soul.

Boundaries are a set of rules, much like the rules of a sport or household rules set for children (and adults). Dishes

left on the table for you – versus – scraped and put in the sink – or washed by others. Or the lines on a basketball

court – if the play is out of bounds – the ball is dead. The rules of personal boundaries vary based on personality,

preferences and wants and desires. They are not so clear. If your personality is one that seeks to serve and please

others, there is a strong likelihood that you allow others to pierce personal boundaries.

The solution is a healthy vocabulary of saying no. No thank you. Or I’d rather not. Understanding that a no to others

– honors your personal space and is a yes to your mental wellness. Though you may not have identified the

boundary in advance – you know how you feel when it is violated. Consider the following core beliefs that might help

you be clearer that you deserve to serve yourself first, before serving others.

Unspoken rules do not have to be said out loud. It is a given that everyone knows them. Some unspoken rules:

husband and wife cannot sleep with anyone outside of their marriage. Next door neighbors don’t blast your music late

into the night (some don’t know any better). Do not disrespect your parents or elderly. It’s like the 10-

Commandments. We need these to survive. Lisa Terkeurst, in her book “Good Boundaries and Good byes”, reminds

us that boundaries aren’t just a good idea, they are a God idea. Setting boundaries mainly to inform people who you

are and what you will tolerate. She speaks to how we can’t enable bad behavior and call it love.

There are spoken rules which is where each individual comes in. Now in order for each individual to communicate

their needs and desires to other people they themselves must know what their needs and desires are. That is where

we come in to instruct you must spend time with yourself and be honest with your preferences and don’t allow others

to tell you what you like or dislike. I found many people have a difficult time spending time alone. In order to know

who you are and what you want out of life. In order to know what turns you on you must spend time with self without

others influencing you.

This year let’s look at one goal and that is learning how to set boundaries to build good relationships. Setting

boundaries is something that people generally don’t consider. Boundaries are no different than any of the goals

you’ve set in the past. However, this one goal will change your life. Boundaries are a part of self-care and supports

physical, mental, and spiritual health.

As always if you are having trouble with the above topic, you may consider seeking additional help. You can call 211

to speak with an operator that will list the therapist in your area that can help you. If you are having thoughts of

Suicide dial 988 and speak to the qualified therapist who can help you.

Stay in the Present

Mon, 16 Mar 2026 15:05:42 GMT

Staying in the present means being here and now. If you stop and think there is so much

keeping our minds busy. Our country has gone through a lot since the pandemic started and

the president gave the stay-at-home orders and schools were closed. Causing many to

constantly be concerned with the business due to COVID and loss of job and having to teach

kids at home or worry where their next meal will come from or how do I pay for childcare and

feed my family. Our minds are thinking about so much constantly.

Being present will force you not to ruminate on the past negatives or the future unknowns.

Staying in the present can cause us to look at what is happening now. You’ll divert your energy

away from what is right in front of you. In mental health you need all your energy to help you

get through difficult times. For example, when you are depressed, you are not seeing or

thinking clearly about what is in front of you. You are allowing your mind to stay in the past and

constantly relive the negative that is causing your psyche to go in the wrong direction.

Therapists continue to increase their education by learning and getting certified in therapies to

help the different mental health diagnosis and all continue to mention the importance of

staying in the present.

When individuals continue to revisit the past where something bad has happened to them your

mind is forced to relive the hurt and the pain. Our minds continue to replay the images. Our

minds are busy and moving and if we do not learn ways to control it – it can get out of hand.

The mind is where our thoughts generate our feelings and our behavior. When our thoughts are

negative it can produce sadness, anger, distress, anxiety, depression, worry, and many more

feelings that keeps us stuck and unable to make good decisions, or smile, or make friends, or

see the good in anyone or anything.

Things you can do to stay in the present

Practice mindfulness. Mindfulness is when you concentrate on the here and now. It’s paying

attention to what is going on around you now. Staying focus, giving your full attention. Try

mindful eating. Concentrate and look at the food on your plate, think about how it was made,

how long you think it took to make, can you smell the flavors, observe the details of the colors

on the plate, think about the health benefits, count your chews of each spoonful, etc.

Do deep breathing exercises. When you start to feel stressed or anxious about the things that

are going on around you step away and have a seat and gently close your eyes and put your

hand on your heart and take slow deep breaths until you can focus on what you are doing and

what is going on around you.

Meditation is a good way to bring your attention back to the here and now. Meditation is a

technique based on Hindu traditions. This is a technique to teach relaxation and help to clear

your mind from busyness of day-to-day activity.

Staying in the present does not mean you no longer remember the past or don’t think of the

future. Those thoughts will always be there but will not hijack you’re your feelings and behavior

because you focus on the here and now.

Staying in the present can allow you to make better decisions and free your mind to be more

creative, and it quiet your mind from those negative thoughts that will try to sabotage your

good feelings from coming out. Being in the present can cause you to be happy and future

oriented.

As always if you are having trouble with this topic, no worries, I would recommend that you

contact your local 211 operator to help you get connected with a license therapist that can help

you with learning to stay in the present. If you are having thoughts of suicide dial 988 or call the

U.S. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-TALK (8255) any time day or night.

The Importance of Sleep

Mon, 16 Mar 2026 15:05:23 GMT

Sleep plays a very important part of health. According to Webster Dictionary insomnia is

difficulty in falling or staying asleep; sleeplessness; or inability to obtain sufficient sleep. When

you are experiencing chronic insomnia, you have been having problems sleeping for a

sometime.

When you are unable to fall asleep you possibly stare at the wall and wonder what you are

doing wrong that you can’t get a good night sleep. You toss and turn and hate the hours you are

wasting before you eventually fall asleep an hour before your alarm goes off for you to start

your day. Those that sleep well don’t think about those that can’t sleep.

According to the Sleep Foundation the statistic about sleep is interesting. Did you know on the

average people spend about two hours per night dreaming; while sleeping your body’s

temperature during sleep drops one to two degrees; adults between 18-60 need seven to nine

of sleep per night. Adults over 65 need seven to eight hours; 42.6% of single parents sleep less

than seven hours per night compared to 32.7& of adults in two-parent homes and 31% or

adults with no children; between 10-30% of adults struggle with chronic insomnia; women have

a lifetime risk of insomnia that is as much higher than that of men, and it is believed that

between 30-48% of older adults suffer from insomnia. And drowsy driving is responsible for

more than 6,000 fatal car crashes every year in the America.

There can be various reasons for inability to sleep - disturbing behavior (grieving, anger,

hatred, unforgiveness, etc.), health reason, certain medications, hungry, pain, noisy,

uncomfortable bed, room too hot, too much alcohol or caffeine, depression, anxiety, stress, jet

lag, menopause (decline in estrogen), napping during the day,

Those experiencing insomnia can try to try to effectively make lifestyle changes through sleep

hygiene, things you can do to improve your sleep: a simple remedy can be to make sure your

room is dark, air flowing nicely, bed is smooth, pillow and linen are clean, consider a firm

mattress or try warm milk or herbal tea. Consider listening to natural sounds (rain, ocean

breeze, or meditate) or take slow deep breaths. Keep your regular medical checkups annually.

Some people try using over the counter and prescription medication to help them sleep. Do not

exercise prior to going to bed (exercise at least 3 hours before going to bed). Avoid caffeinated

beverages before bed. Try not to watch news just prior to sleep. Avoid watching television.

Avoid holding on to unforgiveness or anger and reliving the incident in your mind. Avoid social

media or gaming prior to going to bed.

Recommendations

If you tried any of the above suggestions and find nothing works, seek professional help- those

who are qualified and trained in CBT (cognitive behavior therapy)

Why you need the proper amount of Sleep

When you are asleep the hormone melatonin is naturally produced. It’s used and released by a

gland in the brain at night and helps control our sleep- circadian rhythm.

Sleeping well should be everyone’s goal. You will feel refreshed and energetic to start your day.

The proper amount of rest is needed for good health. It empowers individual to think and make

better decisions. A person can be more creative. Sleep should not be taken lightly. Sleep is

needed for survival. Sleep allows individual to think clearly. Sleep is our super-power.

If you are having trouble sleeping after trying some remedies, you may consider discussing this

with your family doctor and if the doctor checks out lab work/tests and can’t see anything

he/she may refer you to see sleep specialist or a therapist. Whatever you are going through

remember you are not alone, and you can get help.

Is It An Anxiety Attack or A Panic Attack Is There A Difference?

Mon, 16 Mar 2026 15:04:14 GMT

It came on me quick and sudden, I experienced shortness of breath, heart pounding out of my

chest, I was sweating and breathing heavy, and I felt sick to my stomach. I made my way to the

bed and sank my head into my pillow as I felt as if death was looming over me. I had a hair

appointment scheduled that same morning. I needed to leave my house now to make it to

Cleveland from Youngstown. There was no way I could drive anywhere because I couldn’t focus.

I thought what was happening to me. And it came to me I was having an anxiety attack.

One might ask what is the difference between anxiety attack and panic attack? According to the

DSM V – which does not actually diagnosis an anxiety attack, but you can find panic attack

diagnosis.

What’s the difference

Anxiety attack comes on sudden after the symptoms have been building up as opposed to a

panic attack, which generally happens quickly without warning and more intense and last only a

short time span (when going through a panic attack it may feel as if it you’ve experienced the

symptom for hours but, really was roughly 5-20 minutes). Those who are diagnosis with panic

attack can experience chest pain, chills, stomach problems, possible lightheadedness, or hot

flashes. Research has shown panic attack have a multidimensional scaling (MDS) concerning the

symptoms, measures derealization, cardiac panic and respiratory panic. When individual

experience the MDS they will probably go to the emergency room (ER) believing they are

having a heart attack. Once all the test at the ER is reviewed the individual will be sent home

and the doctor would mention that the person had experience a panic attack and it’s over now.

The doctor may also recommend that the individual make a mental health appointment to

speak with a therapist. I recall having a client that went to the ER at least 10 times in three

months. He complained about all the money he owes for his co-pay. That is a reason to learn

about your body and see the right professional to help you in that area. Seeing a licensed

therapist can teach you the symptoms and you evaluate if this episode is different than the last

and to learn to distinguish between a panic attack or a possible heart attack. Yes, this can be a

scary experience if you are unaware of familiar with your symptoms.

Anxiety and panic attacks both experience increased heart rate and short breath and feeling of

impending danger causing the stressful hormones to be released. It can be difficult to diagnosis

if you are experiencing an anxiety or a panic attack. That is why it is important to seek a

professional diagnosis to learn what are your symptoms.

Maintain Good Health

Be aware of your anxiety symptoms and not ignore them. Symptoms that alert you that you are

moving in the direction of anxiety.

1-If you are experiencing these symptoms, don’t hesitate to schedule an appointment with a

professional, who understands and can explain what you are experiencing. Schedule an

appointment with a licensed therapist. This is no joke, take this as a warning signal and learn

ways to control and possibly correct.

2-Do self-care and take it seriously. This is the time to care about you- physically, mentally,

emotionally, and spiritually. It is unrealistic when people fix one part and not the other parts of

humanity. If you focus on one part that other parts will begin to fall apart. It is unfortunate

when we think our body is separate and can’t see how important it is to see our three-part

beings.

3-Be an active part of your community. That entails getting involved and reaching out to meet

new people. Try encouraging other and you will notice your internal problems of stress and

depression can begin to wean. Don’t isolate self and sit in your home and wallow in self-pity. I

met two women this week in Williamsburg at a Broken Egg restaurant. They traveled together

and they are both widows and over 70 years old. They ask me what I would recommend helping

improve one’s self-esteem and healthy mood? I recommended that they do what they are

doing now. Meeting new friends (like-minded people), getting outdoors and travel don’t be

afraid to travel. Consider joining a gym.

4-Set boundaries when meeting new people. You need to be aware because there are some

unscrupulous characters, that will try to take advantage of you. Just be aware.

5-Read your AARP magazine they keep you informed about scams. Continue to read and learn

new things. Share some of the new information you have learned. As you get older it is

important to build up your support system. The only way to do that is to practice smiling and

being friendly.

6-Be a life-long learner

As always if you or someone you know are having problems with anxiety or panic attacks, you

are not alone you are a phone call away from someone who is a licensed professional who can

help you with this problem. Call 211- local operator who can connect you to the help you need in

your area. There are local agencies who can help you. Having problems is nothing to be

ashamed of but not getting the help you need is not wise and can be dangerous. If you are

having thoughts of suicide don’t hesitate to dial 988- the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

988.